Content with Discontent
When I shall be divorced, some ten years hence,
From this poor present self which I am now;
When youth has done its tedious vain expense
Of passions that for ever ebb and flow;
Shall I not joy youth's heats are left behind,
And breathe more happy in an even clime ?--
Ah no, for then I shall begin to find
A thousand virtues in this hated time!
Then I shall wish its agitations back,
And all its thwarting currents of desire;
Then I shall praise the heat which then I lack,
And call this hurrying fever, generous fire;
And sigh that one thing only has been lent
To youth and age in common----discontent.
I know, right? Discontent. Damn. Don’t you wish you were stronger, richer, younger, smarter, thinner, hotter, more loving, more peaceful, happier, freer…?
Our desire to be someone or some place else is something ancient yogic sage, Patanjali, addresses in the Niyamas, the second limb of his Eight-Limbed Yogic Path as described in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. The Niyamas are five positive moral observances, the second of which is Santosha.
Santosha roughly translates to contentment. It’s the ability to be satisfied with what is, of not wanting more, other, or less, but gratefully accepting yourself and your environment. The Sutras state that, “as a result of contentment, one gains supreme happiness.” In Meditations from the Mat, Rolf Gates describes practicing Santosha as a “choice to end our war with reality.”
Source: Rolf Gates
Ok, I hear you, Patanjali and Rolf, but I actually do want to be stronger, richer, more loving and more peaceful. (I also wouldn’t mind being hotter.)
That’s because discontent is hard-wired in all of us. According to Robert Wright, permanent satisfaction would inhibit survival. If we were permanently satisfied by food or sex, he writes, there’d be no impetus to eat or procreate, thus we’re condemned to always want things to be a little different, to always want a little more. (See Approach or Avoid.)
Damn.
That’s not to say I don’t practice Santosha; I actually do so quite regularly both on and off the mat. But when I read the above poem by Matthew Arnold, I was struck by how the memories of fiery and discontented moments in my life---although uncomfortable at the time---are some of my fondest. To quote MJ quoting Tom Brown: “Our most memorable moments are when we are neither safe, secure, nor comfortable.”
Discontent helps us to grow, sometimes bringing a “hurrying fever,” other times a “generous fire,” often leading to greater peace and longer periods of contentment.
So I’m going to make part of my Santosha practice being content with discontent. Join me?