Tame the Monkey

“Shut up, she tells her monkey mind. Please shut up, you picker of nits, presser of bruises, counter of losses, fearer of failures, collector of grievances future and past.” ― Leni Zumas

I’ve recently begun a seated meditation practice and am proud to announce that I’ve been meditating every single day for more than a month! I’ve tried to for years, but it wasn’t until Kathy Morchower recommended the Waking Up app by philosopher and neuroscientist, Sam Harris, that I’ve been able to stick with it.

Last month I did a meditation called Lose the Monkey, in which Harris talked about how quickly our monkey minds take over when we meditate. We become engulfed by thoughts, we replay conversations, we think of things we wish we hadn’t said, we recall the look on the other person’s face when we said them. This anxious rumination happens outside of meditation too, of course, and whether or not you have a meditation practice, I’m guessing you’ve been there.

What was interesting to me about this was Harris’s assertion that the underlying self-concern that motivates this aspect of our monkey minds has an evolutionary history. We are, after all, primates, and primates are very social animals. We’re hard-wired to care what people think. It’s crucial to our survival.

I care deeply what you think of my classes. I waited a year after I finished yoga teacher training before I had the courage to start teaching. I’m writing this hoping you’ll like what I’m writing. And I consider myself to be a pretty confident person! I was talking to Art about all this and he said he thought that caring what people think is what keeps a huge percentage of potential yogis from ever even trying yoga.

Which leads me to a deeper explanation of social anxiety as well as the root cause of our monkey minds: fear, another element that’s crucial to our survival. But just because we’re hardwired to care what people think or we otherwise experience fear, doesn’t mean we have to let fear stop us from being social, or creative, or from trying something as amazing and transformational as yoga. As a matter of fact, yoga and meditation offer us profound moments where we can cut the connection to all of these evolved tendencies, where we can tame the monkey, merely by paying close attention.

Does caring what other people think inhibit you from doing cool things or connecting with cool people? Do other fears get in the way of your potential? The antidote might be just a breath away.