Judgment → Self-Doubt → Forgiveness → Love

If you have forgiven yourself for being imperfect and falling, you can now do it for just about everybody else. If you have not done it for yourself, I am afraid you will likely pass on your sadness, absurdity, judgment, and futility to others. ~ Richard Rohr

Almost every student who comes to their first class at InsideOut Yoga—whether brand new to yoga or a veteran teacher—describes to me how their practice is somehow lacking. They tell me they’re rusty from not having practiced in a while, that they have a dysfunction, that they’re healing from an injury, that they’re lousy at balance, that they’re tight or weak, that they have trouble with lefts and rights. They ask for a spot in the back so that the other students won’t notice their less-than-perfect practice. (This also happens frequently with regular students.)

I tell them that one of the most important (and by far one of the hardest) parts about practicing yoga is letting go of judgment. I explain that their fellow students are more concerned with how “well” they’re doing on their own mats than how another student is practicing. Yet to be honest, although I keep a watchful eye on my students, I’m almost always judging myself on how well I’m doing: Is my language clear? Am I getting through to my students? Is the class too easy/hard? Is the sequencing fresh and interesting? Do I have a camel-toe??

Because the theme at this month’s yoga retreat in the Shenandoah Valley is I Hear You, one of the questions MJ and I asked on the registration form was, What are some things that distract you from listening to yourself or others? I thought that most people would say their phones and other devices distracted them, but the most common answers were self-doubt and shoulds/peer pressure.

In other words: judgment. How (as opposed to what) am I doing now? How do I compare to others? How will I be doing in the future?

I’m not saying that all judgment is bad; it can actually be quite useful. As always, it’s about balance. Yet too much judgment creates worry, self-doubt and stress, so how do we practice not engaging in this ubiquitous mental state in order to create more compassion and clarity toward ourselves and others both on and off the mat?

Maybe the answer is in Father Rohr’s opening quote: forgiveness. I don’t know about you, but I say and do things every day that cast self-doubt and create negative judgment. But when I actively practice letting go of and forgiving myself for my “imperfections” on the mat and focus on the what vs the how, I’m less likely to get mired in judgment and to pass on my self-doubt/negative judgment to others.

Christians like Father Rohr will tell you that the source of forgiveness is a higher power. I don’t personally resonate with the Biblical label of that higher power (see Church Marquees), but I do agree with the spirit of forgiveness. I would just give that higher power another label: love.

Judgment → Self-Doubt → Forgiveness → Love