The Hallway

Many of you know that my BFF, MJ, was recently diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. Although it has thankfully not metastasized, it’s nevertheless a fast-growing, aggressive tumor that needs to be treated with four months of heavy chemo followed by surgery and several more months of chemo + radiation. One of the first questions her oncology team asked her  was if she had a support system. As love and support are keys to healing, her resounding yes was music to their ears. If you know MJ, you know her team didn’t need to ask their second question: “How do you handle adversity?” They’d already spent several hours with her and couldn’t help but marvel at her positive spirit.

“In life when one door closes, another door always opens…but the hallways are a bitch.” ~Ronnie Kaye

MJ and I talked about her “hallway” and how during her treatment it would feel like mean kids were slamming her up against the locker and tripping her as she headed to class. She clearly knows this year is going to be a bitch, yet her mantras are “we got this,” “eye on the prize,” and “cancer fears me.”

What prize is at the other end of your hallway: your divorce, financial setback, addiction, illness…? What are the things you say or do to help you get through it? How does your yoga practice influence your ability to handle those mean kids?

(For updates on MJ’s status, please visit her CaringBridge site. And her IOY/OBX² Positivity Workshop summary has some great tips on staying positive through adversity.)

Mango & Shrimp Wraps

Another winner adapted from Epicurious! Serves 4

INGREDIENTS

• 1/3 cup sour cream
• 1/3 cup mayonnaise
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh basil
• 2 1/4 teaspoons salt, divided
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
• 1 1/2 lb large shrimp in shell (16 to 20 per lb), peeled and deveined
• 1 (1-lb) firm-ripe mango, peeled and cut into 1/3-inch cubes
• 4 (10-inch) flour tortillas
• 1 (6-oz) bunch watercress, tough stems discarded, or baby spinach

PREPARATION

1. Pulse sour cream, mayonnaise, basil, 1/4 teaspoon salt, and pepper in a blender until herbs are finely chopped and mixture is pale green.
2. Bring 2 quarts water, lemon juice, and remaining 2 teaspoons salt to a boil in a 3-quart saucepan, then poach shrimp, uncovered, at a bare simmer until just cooked through, about 3 minutes. Transfer shrimp with a slotted spoon to a bowl of ice and cold water to stop cooking. Let shrimp chill in water 2 minutes, then drain and pat dry. Coarsely chop shrimp, then add to dressing along with mango and stir to combine.
3. Toast tortillas 1 at a time directly on burner (gas or electric) at moderately high heat, turning over and rotating with tongs, until puffed slightly and browned in spots but still flexible, 30 to 40 seconds. Transfer to a clean kitchen towel as toasted and stack, loosely wrapped in towel.
4. Divide watercress or spinach among tortillas, arranging it across middle, then top with 1 1/4 cups shrimp salad. Tuck in ends of wraps, then roll up tightly to enclose filling. Cut wraps in half diagonally.

No Shame, No Shame

I taught a hip opening practice last month where I sat in front of the class demonstrating variations of Baddha Konasana (Bound Angle), Upavista Konasana (Seated Wide Legged Forward Bend) and Seated Pigeon (see below). When I got home, I changed out of my yoga pants and noticed a large hole high on my inner thigh, right where the thigh and the pelvis meet. Oh no! Had anyone noticed?? I was up there for, like, 15 minutes! I searched my memory for either horrified or extra smiley faces and couldn’t recall any (nor had anyone inquired afterward about a future naked yoga class), so I took a deep breath and decided I was probably safe.

Later, I thought about our societal norms around nudity and how certain body parts are considered shameful and necessary to hide. I also lamented about the extent to which body shaming is ingrained in our culture; how media images that glorify a certain ideal bring shame and self-doubt to millions of men and women. I can’t think of a single person, including myself, who looks in the mirror without seeing flaws. How about you? What do you see when you look in the mirror?

Here’s what I’d love for us to see this month: more holes. Holes in the theories and media exposure that promote unattainable ideals. Holes in how we internalize body shaming and give it power. Holes in self-doubt that might stop us from doing cool yoga poses or other great things. Let’s shoot even more holes in those theories and see right through them. (Like the hole you did or didn’t see in my pants!) 

20-Minute Tomato Sauce

Another go-to adapted from Cook's Illustrated. I usually triple the recipe and freeze what I don't need. Make sure to use best quality tomatoes! (I like San Marzano.)

INGREDIENTS

• 1 28-oz cans best quality whole tomatoes (not packed in puree or sauce)
• 2 cloves garlic
• 1 Tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
• 2 Tablespoons coarsely chopped fresh basil (about 8 leaves)
• 1 teaspoon sugar
• ½ teaspoons salt, plus more for pasta
• pinch of crushed red pepper (optional)
• 1 lb spaghetti

PREPARATION

1. Put garlic through a garlic press into a small bowl and stir in 1 teaspoon water. Heat oil and garlic in large saute pan over medium heat until fragrant but not brown, about 2 minutes.
2. If using whole tomatoes, drain and reserve liquid. Coarsley chop by hand or in a food processor. If necessary, add enough liquid to tomatoes to equal 2 cups. Add to pan and simmer until thickened slightly, about 10 minutes.  Stir in basil, sugar, and ½ teaspoon salt.
3. Meanwhile, cook pasta until al dente in large pot of boiling, salted water. Reserve ¾ cup cooking water; drain pasta, and transfer it back to pan. Mix in reserved cooking water and sauce; cook together over medium heat for 1 minute, stirring constantly, and serve immediately.

The Truth Will Set You Free

I apologize for the cliché theme this month, but it was the perfect ending to the NPR interview described below and spoke to me in terms of my yoga practice as well as what speaks to me off the mat.

In a recent episode of, On Being, Krista Tippet interviewed Pulitzer Prize winning journalist and author, Isabel Wilkerson. Their conversation was about the current relevance of Wilkerson’s book, The Warmth of Other Suns, which examines the migration of six million southern African Americans to northern U.S. cities in the 20th century. The segment began with Wilkerson comparing our country to an old house. She said that old houses needed a lot of work and that the work was never done. Just when you’ve finished one renovation, it was time to do something else, and then something else after that. You might not want to go into that basement, but if you didn’t, it was at your own peril. Whatever you were ignoring was not going to go away. Whatever you were ignoring was only going to get worse. Whatever you were ignoring would be there to be reckoned with until you reckoned with it…

Those powerful first sentences struck me not just in terms of the state of our country and the history that has brought us to this point (and, I admit, the state of my own old house!), but it also struck me in terms of what else I’m facing in my life―what I’m showing up with on my mat. What am I accepting? What am I confronting? What am I ignoring?

The beauty of yoga is that you have the opportunity to examine not only what you’re facing, you have the opportunity to examine how you’re reacting to what you’re facing. You feel it in your body—maybe a pain pattern from an old injury or unrestrained zeal in your practice. You notice it in your breath—maybe it’s short and choppy or you’re holding it. You become potently aware of your thoughts—maybe there’s mental stress present from financial or relationship struggles. How do those conditions change when you accept them? Confront them? Ignore them? Can you look at all that you’re facing and the way you’re responding with compassion, maybe even with love?

At the end of the interview, Wilkerson and Tippet talked about finding strength in the discovery of what was true. “However hard the truth is,” said Tippet, “it does complete us.” Wilkerson agreed with a soft chuckle: “Obviously I’m not the first to say it, but it does seem to set some people free...”

What’s in your basement? What in your life are you accepting, confronting or ignoring? Which approach shows up on your mat?  How does the truth, or even love (sorry for another cliché!) set you free?

Artisan Bread in Less Than 5 Minutes

This recipe was developed by Jeff Hertzberg and Zoë François and is the master recipe in their best-selling book, Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day. Watch this 2-min video that explains their ingenious method.

INGREDIENTS

• 1-1/2 tablespoons granulated yeast (about 1-1/2 packets)
• 1-1/2 tablespoons kosher salt
• 6-1/2 cups unbleached flour, plus extra for dusting dough
• Cornmeal

 PREPARATION

1. In a large plastic resealable container, mix yeast and salt into 3 cups lukewarm (about 100 degrees) water. Using a large spoon, stir in flour, mixing until mixture is uniformly moist with no dry patches. Do not knead. Dough will be wet and loose enough to conform to shape of plastic container. Cover, but not with an airtight lid.

2. Let dough rise at room temperature, until dough begins to flatten on top or collapse, at least 2 hours and up to 5 hours. (At this point, dough can be refrigerated up to 2 weeks; refrigerated dough is easier to work with than room-temperature dough, so the authors recommend that first-time bakers refrigerate dough overnight or at least 3 hours.)

3. When ready to bake, sprinkle cornmeal on a pizza peel. Place a broiler pan on bottom rack of oven. Place baking stone on middle rack and preheat oven to 450 degrees, preheating baking stone for at least 20 minutes.

4. Sprinkle a little flour on dough and on your hands. Pull dough up and, using a serrated knife, cut off a grapefruit-size piece, about 1 lb. Working for 30 to 60 seconds (and adding flour as needed to prevent dough from sticking to hands; most dusting flour will fall off, it's not intended to be incorporated into dough), turn dough in hands, gently stretching surface of dough, rotating ball a quarter-turn as you go, creating a rounded top and a bunched bottom.

5. Place shaped dough on prepared pizza peel and let rest, uncovered, for 40 minutes. Repeat with remaining dough or refrigerate it in lidded container.*  Dust dough with flour.

(*Even one day's storage improves flavor and texture of bread. Dough can also be frozen in 1-pound portions in airtight containers and defrosted overnight in refrigerator prior to baking day.)

6. Using a serrated knife, slash top of dough in three parallel, 1/4-inch deep cuts (or in a tic-tac-toe pattern). Slide dough onto preheated baking stone. Pour 1 cup hot tap water into broiler pan and quickly close oven door to trap steam. Bake until crust is well-browned and firm to the touch, about 30 minutes. Remove from oven to a wire rack and cool completely.

The "S" Word

Years ago, a friend of mine told a group of us, “if you want to be my friend, don’t use the word, ‘should.’” As someone who’s never liked being told what to do, I could completely resonate.

I think it’s another reason I love yoga so much. An instructor might remind me to precisely align the center of my knee over my second toe, but she’ll also tell me to listen to my body, prioritizing its advice over hers.

That balance of advice and inner listening reminds me of my mother, who was the queen of balancing intrusiveness with letting us find our own way – a tricky scenario for any parent. It made any advice she gave us all the more compelling, because it was given with restraint as well as respect for our own inner wisdom and intelligence. It was the optimal setting for growth as individuals and as a family, and is a model I’ve strived to practice as a mother, wife, teacher and friend. If you’re a regular reader of my newsletter, you know I’ve been practicing it perfectly.

Many of us set resolutions each year based on societal shoulds that have been ingrained into our consciousness, sometimes diluting our inner wisdom. But when we begin from a place of connection with our own core needs, beliefs and passions while remaining open and curious to the wisdom (maybe even the shoulds) of others, the possibilities of individual and collective growth feel infinite. And isn’t that why we set resolutions and intentions in the first place?

What’s your balance of advice and inner wisdom saying these days? Are there areas in your life where you’d like to see more growth? Can you take some time to intentionally connect with your own core needs and beliefs while remaining open and curious to the possibility of growth?

I think you should!

Chicken Noodle Soup

This is my go-to. It's straight-forward and delicious. Serves 12

INGREDIENTS

• 16 cups canned low-salt chicken broth
• 3 1/2-pounds chicken (bone-in breasts with skin), cut into 8 pieces and salted to taste
• 1/2 cup chopped onions (optional)
• 3 carrots, peeled, thinly sliced and salted to taste
• 3 celery stalks, sliced and salted to taste
• 8 ounces dried wide egg noodles or elbow macaroni
• Optional: 1-2 chicken bouillon cubes

PREPARATION

Combine chicken broth and chicken in heavy large pot. Bring to boil. Reduce heat; cover partially and simmer until chicken is cooked through, about 20 minutes. Using tongs, transfer chicken to large bowl. Cool chicken and broth slightly. Discard skin and bones from chicken. Cut chicken meat into bite-size pieces and reserve. Spoon fat off top of chicken broth.

Return broth to simmer. Add onion if using, carrots and celery. Simmer until vegetables soften, about 8 minutes. (Can be prepared ahead. Cover chicken meat and broth separately and refrigerate. Bring broth to boil before continuing.)

Stir in noodles, cook until soft, then add reserved chicken. Simmer until noodles are tender, about 5 minutes. Add 1 or 2 chicken bouillon cubes if desired for more flavor. Season soup to taste with salt (I add 2 t.) and pepper. 

108 Minutes of Restoration Quotes on Stillness

“Winter is the slow-down. Winter is the search for self. Winter gives the silence you need to listen. Winter goes gray so you can see your own colors.” ~ Terri Guillemets

“Silence is not an absence but a presence. ~ Anne D. LeClaire

“Stillness is not about focusing on nothingness; it’s about creating an emotional clearing to allow ourselves to feel, think, dream and question.” ~ Brené Brown

“Silence isn’t empty. It’s full of answers.” ~ The Sabi

“In the stillness the voice inside is louder, much louder, and cannot be ignored. ~ Diane Brown

“I feel that art has something to do with the achievement of stillness in the midst of chaos. A stillness which characterizes prayer too, and the eye of the storm. I think that art has something to do with an arrest of attention in the midst of distraction.” ~ Saul Bellow

“It’s what I learn from the great actors that I work with. Stillness. That’s all and that’s the hardest thing.” ~ Morgan Freeman

“So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.” ~ T.S. Eliot

“On one level, life is effervescent and active. On another level, it is absolutely still. The inner stillness nourishes the outer activity.” ~ Sadhguru

“If you get tired, learn to rest, not quit.” ~ Anonymous

“Truth is relative. What you once thought was true as a child is not any longer. And what you think is true now, will not be in ten years. When I say, ‘Find your truth,” what I mean is find your stillness. Find the vast depth of silence within you and you will discover the truth that is perfect for you now.” ~ Amy Larson

“Movement is the freedom of the body; stillness, of the mind.” ~ Marty Rubin

Be Humble

“Humility involves having the capacity to take a more confrontational stance, having the capacity to retaliate if you wish, yet deliberately deciding not to do so. You realize that you could have acted otherwise, you could have adopted a more aggressive approach, but you decided not to.” ― Dalai Lama XIV

I have two character flaws that I’m aware of but am not quite ready to acquiesce: 1) I hate to be told what to do and, 2) I’m always right.

I was gratified to learn in one of MJ’s workshops at IOY/OBX that I wasn’t the only one. The focus of the weekend was positive thinking and, in the workshop, MJ talked about six behavioral changes we could intentionally practice in order to bring more positivity into our lives. One of the practices was to “give mercy,” which she defined as showing love and acceptance even if your spouse, child, parent, friend, politician (you choose the relationship) was being a butthead. Part of that practice was to ask ourselves, “what’s it like to be on the receiving end of me?” After we broke up into small groups, we gathered as a larger group to discuss. One brave participant (I’ll call her “Judy”) confessed that she had recently had an a-ha moment that some of the struggles she had been having with her partner were largely a result of her need to always be right. Her confession held up a mirror to me that was so unabashedly true, it was uncomfortable. I looked around and saw other people squirming too.

Judy’s willingness to be vulnerable was a beautiful lesson in awareness and humility. How often do we show our asses to our partners and others we’re closest to?  How often do we choose being right over being peaceful or happy? How might a bit of awareness and humility affect time spent with your loved ones this holiday season?

Thanks for the mirror, Judy. Maybe I’ll start acquiescing a little after all…

(Click here for a summary of MJ’s workshop, including the six behavioral changes you can practice to create more positivity in your world.)

Greek Tomato Spread

Debi Isbrandtsen brought this delicious appetizer to IOY/OBX2.

INGREDIENTS

• 2 pints grape tomatoes, cut in half
• Kosher salt
• 1 Tbsp. red wine vinegar
• 1-2 cloves chopped garlic
• 1 Tbsp. capers
• ¼ cup dried basil
• 1 cup olive oil, plus additional to cover tomatoes

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 250. Place tomatoes cut side up on a cookie sheet and sprinkle salt to taste.  Bake for approximately 2 hours or until lightly shrunken and lightly browned. Set aside to cool.

Mix the vinegar, garlic, capers, dried basil and olive oil in a quart jar. Add the roasted tomatoes plus additional oil to cover, and gently rotate jar top to bottom, back and forth, until completely mixed. Refrigerate at least overnight. The spread will keep for a long time. Serve over goat cheese or cream cheese on crackers or crostini.

IOY/OBX2 "Come on Get Higher" Positivity Workshop Summary

Here's a summary of MJ's awesome workshop!

Neuroplasticity is the science that supports this truth: We can change our neuro patterns no matter what our age. Meaning: You can develop a more positive approach to life right now. 

The actions below take a deep commitment to intention. You have to PLAN to act. This planning is the beginning of building your new neural pathway.

Six Behavioral Changes:

1. Show Gratitude – Wake up daily being grateful for at least one thing.
2. Give Mercy – When it is unearned, show acceptance and love anyway. Ask yourself: What’s it like to be on the receiving end of me?
3. Reframe Your Experience – No one can take away your happy approach – you have to give it away. Reframing means to flip it and place the positive back into the moment.
4. Move – Elevate your attitude by moving and creating endorphins. It can be simple: Sit up; smile. Or it can become a part of your daily action: Do a 5 second super hero pose. Name your super hero.
5. Pick a Tribe that Supports Your Positive Vibe – Evaluate who you surround yourself with. With intention, cultivate relationships that actively support your goal of living a positive life.
6. Pay it Forward – Buy a coffee for the next person in line, volunteer; keep the wellbeing of others in the front of your mind.

As a reminder, happiness is a feeling. Positivity is an attitude. A positive attitude provides room for hope even in the worst situation.

Namaste dear friends…

MJ

Gratitude Changes Everything

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” ―Melody Beattie

“What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.” ― Brené Brown

I hear a lot of educators these days talking about an entitlement epidemic in their schools. They complain that students feel like they deserve good grades without working and trophies just for playing. They say that parents indulge this sense of entitlement by demanding higher grades or a position on the starting lineup from the teachers and coaches instead of establishing responsible study and work habits at home.

Author and UC Davis researcher, Dr. Robert Emmons, offers not only an antidote to this sense of entitlement but a practice that literally improves your health and gives meaning to your life: gratitude.

If you’re reading this, you’ve likely had your share of privilege: a warm home (maybe more than one), close friends & family, plenty of food, not to mention the privilege of living in a free society with almost limitless opportunities for work, pleasure and intellectual/spiritual growth. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve inwardly (and, I confess, outwardly) complained about a meal in a restaurant, my aging home, or some music I wasn’t particularly into. Instead of being grateful for the effort the restaurateurs put into making the meal, the builders the house or the musicians the songs, I act as though I unconditionally deserve their efforts. And the more entitled I feel, the more my gratitude shrinks in proportion.

Gratitude is a “chosen attitude,” writes Emmons. It’s the inverse of entitlement. His research found that people who view life as a gift and consciously practice gratitude experience multiple advantages such as improved emotional and physical health as well as stronger relationships and communities. “Gratitude enriches human life,” he says. “It elevates, energizes, inspires and transforms. People are moved, opened and humbled through expressions of gratitude.”

In November and always, please join me in a daily practice of gratitude. It literally changes everything.

Roasted Brussels Sprouts

My go-to method from Fine Cooking that's perfect for Thanksgiving (or any time). Serve with or without the shallot butter, which you can make ahead and freeze.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 lb. Brussels sprouts
• 1 to 3 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil
• 1/2 tsp. kosher salt; more to taste
• Freshly ground black pepper
• Fresh lemon juice (optional)

PREPARATION

Position a rack in the center of the oven and heat the oven to 475° F. Line a heavy-duty rimmed baking sheet with parchment. Trim the Brussels sprouts, then halve them lengthwise. In a medium bowl, toss the sprouts with enough of the olive oil to coat generously, the salt, and a few grinds of pepper.

Turn the Brussels sprouts out onto the baking sheet and arrange the pieces so that they are evenly spaced and lying on a cut side. If the pieces cover the baking sheet sparsely, arrange them toward the edges of the baking sheet for the best browning. Arrange cut side down on baking sheet. Roast until the sprouts are tender and browned, about 15 minutes (no need to turn them).

Return the Brussels sprouts to the bowl in which you tossed them with the oil, or put them in a clean serving bowl. If they seem a bit dry, drizzle them with a little oil. Season to taste with salt, pepper, and lemon juice, if using.

Yields about 1/4 cup, enough for 3 batches of roasted vegetables.

CARAMELIZED SHALLOT BUTTER

• 3-1/2 Tbs. unsalted butter, softened
• 1 large shallot, finely diced (1/3 cup)
• 1/2 tsp. chopped fresh thyme
• 1/2 tsp. finely grated lemon zest
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

Heat 1 Tbs. of the butter in a small saucepan or skillet over medium-low heat until melted. Add the shallot and cook, stirring frequently, until deeply browned, 8 to 10 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in the thyme. Cool completely.

In a small bowl, combine the shallot mixture with the remaining 2-1/2 Tbs. butter and the lemon zest. Stir to blend well. Lightly season to taste with salt and pepper.

Scrape the butter onto a piece of plastic wrap, mold into a log shape, and wrap in the plastic. Refrigerate until ready to use. Toss about 1/3 of the butter (a generous tablespoon) with a batch of vegetables after roasting.
 

Be(A)ware!

“Self-love is a good thing but self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go ‘Uh, I’m kind of an a**hole.’” ― Louis C.K.

Have you ever known someone who seemed to have no clue about their behavioral or communication patterns? Maybe they had an addiction they weren’t acknowledging, maybe their language was passive aggressive, stormy or overly critical. How did you respond? 

I’ve been practicing yoga for about 20 years now and am noticing more and more these little bits of self-awareness creeping in. Of course, part of that awareness is due to getting older, but when you’re on the mat, you pay attention to, for example, the weight of your big toe mound, how it differs from the pressure you’re putting on your other one. You notice whether your chin is level to the floor or if the way you’re arching your low back is causing you pain. You also begin to notice your emotional responses to a challenging pose or to a class you did or didn’t like. All of these practices are designed to keep you present, to bring self-awareness, to help you grow physically, mentally and spiritually. After all, how can you move forward if you don’t know your starting point?

Back to that a**hole…

Self-awareness means we know we’re not perfect. That we don’t always make the best choices. But, equally important, it also means we know we’re pretty darn cool. I see it in spades in all the people I have the privilege of teaching every day.

In this spooky month, I invite you to be(A)ware! Look your goblins right in the eye. I promise you it’s less scary than you think.

Black Bean and Yellow Pepper Chili

I recently made this delicious chili (adapted from Bon Appetit) for my daughter’s volleyball team. Her best friend, Lucy, told me she’d been waiting for it all year. I hope you like as much as she does. This one's for you, Lucy!

INGREDIENTS

• 6 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 12-ounce onion, coarsely chopped (about 3 cups)
• 1 large yellow bell pepper, chopped
• 1 Tablespoon ground cumin
• 4 teaspoons minced canned chipotle chilies (or to taste)
• 3 15-ounce cans black beans, well drained and rinsed
• 1 28-oz can good quality tomatoes
• 2 cups vegetable (or chicken) broth
• 1-2 Tablespoons fresh lime juice (or to taste)
• Salt & freshly ground pepper to taste
• Cooked rice, if desired
• Suggested toppings: avocado, salsa, sour cream or yogurt, additional cilantro, additional lime juice

PREPARATION

Heat oil in heavy large pot over medium-high heat. Add onion, bell pepper, and cumin. Sauté until onion is soft and golden, stirring frequently, about 10 minutes. Add chipotle chilies and stir 30 seconds. Add black beans, tomatoes with juices, and broth. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to low. Simmer, uncovered, until liquid is reduced by about half, stirring occasionally, about 30 minutes. Transfer 2 cups chili to a food processor. Blend to a coarse paste, then return to pot. Simmer chili to thicken if desired and season to taste with salt, pepper, lime juice and cilantro. Serve over rice, if desired, with toppings of choice. Makes 6 servings; more if served over rice.

Approach or Avoid

“Emotional pain cannot kill you, but running from it can. Allow. Embrace. Let yourself feel.”  ― Vironika Tugaleva

I was listening to a Fresh Air interview with scholar and author Robert Wright, who writes in his new book, Why Buddhism is True, the Science and Philosophy of Mediation and Enlightenment, that humans are hard wired to be perpetually dissatisfied. Evolution, he writes, rewards people for seeking out pleasure rather than pain. In order to pass on genes to the next generation, we need to eat and procreate. We couldn’t do that if we were permanently satisfied by food or sex, so we’re condemned to always want things to be a little different, to always want a little more. He then makes the case that some Buddhist practices (specifically mindfulness meditation) can help us overcome this biological pull towards dissatisfaction.

“That explains a lot,” said a good friend after I sent her the interview link. I agreed.

One of the things that struck me was Wright’s discussion of “approach and avoid.” Approach and avoid, he said, were the two most fundamental tendencies of even the simplest organisms. “Either you move toward something that’s good for you, like nutrition, or you move away from something that’s bad for you, like a toxin or a predator. These fundamental behaviors correspond to good feelings and bad feelings, so by our nature, we seek out good feelings and avoid bad feelings.” He pointed to mindfulness meditation as a method of disempowering those biological levers so that we no longer automatically respond to this fundamental incentive structure of trying to avoid painful feelings and to always seek the thing that’s gratifying. “Mindfulness meditation,” he said, “can teach us to choose the feelings we want to follow or not follow, which not only makes us happier, but helps us treat others more compassionately and see the world more clearly.”

It made me think of a relationship I have with a difficult family member and how the feelings that come up for me when I’m with her have led me to avoid her more and more over the years. It also made me think of my yoga practice and how sticking with a difficult pose or transition helps me to practice approaching and then choosing, rather than automatically avoiding, when I’m off the mat.

“Pain in this life is not avoidable, but the pain we create avoiding pain is avoidable.” ― R.D. Laing

What feelings/circumstances do you tend to avoid? How does avoidance help or hurt the situation? What might change if you choose to approach rather than avoid?

Spanish Chicken with Chickpeas & Chorizo

When served over rice, this recipe, adapted from Finecooking.com, tastes a bit like Paella but is much easier to prepare. (Feel free to add seafood or make other changes to make it more Paella-like.)

INGREDIENTS

• 14-1/2-oz. can diced tomatoes
• 2 tsp. sherry vinegar
• Pinch saffron threads
• 4 small boneless, skinless chicken thighs (about 1-1/2 lb. total)
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 2-1/2 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil
• 1/2 lb. chorizo, cut into 1/2-inch dice
• 3 large cloves minced garlic
• 15-oz. can chickpeas, rinsed and drained
• Flat leaf parsley
• 2 cups cooked white rice

PREPARATION

Purée the tomatoes and their juices, the vinegar, saffron, and 1/2 cup water in a blender or food processor. Season the chicken with 1 tsp. salt and 1/2 tsp. black pepper.

Heat 1-1/2 Tbs. of the oil in a 12-inch skillet over medium-high heat until shimmering hot. Add the chicken and cook without touching until browned, 2 to 3 minutes. Flip and cook until the other sides brown, 2 minutes more. Transfer to a plate.

Add the remaining 1 Tbs. oil to the pan and then add the chorizo and garlic. Cook, stirring often, until they start to brown, 1 to 2 minutes. Add the tomato purée and chickpeas, and bring to a boil. Add the chicken, nestling it into the sauce. Reduce the heat to a simmer, cover, and cook until the chicken is cooked through, about 10 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Serve over white rice and sprinkle with parsley.

A Nice Place to Visit

I once saw a Twilight Zone episode called, ”A Nice Place to Visit,” about a gangster named Rocky Valentine who dies in a shootout with the police and wakes up in the next world. In this world, Rocky’s every whim is instantly satisfied. He plays pool and all the balls immediately get sunk. He visits a casino and wins every bet as beautiful girls flock around him. He wonders what good deeds he could have possibly done to gain entrance into heaven. As the show progresses and everything he does continues to come immediately and easily, he realizes he’s in hell. I haven’t seen it for decades but I often think about it, especially when I’m struggling to learn something..

Which brings me to―as the Ginge calls it―the “evil Chaturanga.” It’s a pose 99.9% of us struggle with. I’ve been refining it for years and have recently come upon a technique taught by Jessica Stickler in an online workshop that’s been working for me and that I’ve also been teaching my students. My goal is to hold Chaturanga for three full breaths with a smile on my face.

It’s freaking hard.

But you know what I like best about Chaturanga? The refining part. The sheer joy of practicing something, and what I learn about my body and my mind as I continue to struggle with it.

Immediate gratification is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there. Just ask Rocky Valentine.

Tomato Conserva

This Fine Cooking recipe is the perfect solution for a bumper crop of tomatoes. It takes time, but most of it is hands off. Great in all kinds of recipes (below is my current favorite) and can be frozen.

INGREDIENTS

• 4 lb. ripe, meaty tomatoes, such as beefsteak or plum, cored and sliced crosswise 1/2 inch thick
• 2 medium cloves garlic, peeled and minced
• 2 Tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
• Cooking spray

PREPARATION

1. Position racks in the upper and lower thirds of the oven and heat the oven to 350°F.
2. Line 2 rimmed baking sheets with parchment, coat with cooking spray and divide the tomatoes and garlic between two large rimmed baking sheets. Drizzle the oil over the tomatoes and season with 1 tsp. salt and several grinds of pepper. Gently toss the tomatoes to evenly coat with the oil and then spread in a single layer.
3. Put the sheets in the oven and lower the heat to 225°F. Slowly roast, switching the positions of the sheets halfway through, until the tomatoes look like juicy sun-dried tomatoes, wrinkly and slightly browned in spots, 5 to 6 hours. Let the tomatoes cool for at least 10 minutes before serving or using.
4. The conserva can be refrigerated in an airtight container for up to 1 week or frozen for up to 2 months.

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SPAGHETTI WITH TOMATO CONSERVA, SHRIMP, PROSCIUTTO AND PARMESAN

My adaptation of a Fine Cooking recipe

INGREDIENTS

• Kosher salt
• 1 lb. dried spaghetti
• 5 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil
• 2 cloves garlic
• 4 oz. thinly sliced proscuitto, cut into 1/2-inch strips
• 1 lb shrimp, peeled and deveined
• 2 cups tomato conserva, coarsely chopped
• 1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes
• 2 cups finely grated fresh Parmesan
• 1/4 cup packed chopped flat-leaf parsley leaves
• 1/4 cup packed chopped fresh basil

PREPARATION

Bring a large pot of well-salted water to a boil. Cook the pasta for 1 minute less than package directions for al dente. Reserve about 3 cups of the pasta water and then drain the pasta.

Meanwhile, heat 3 Tbs. of the oil in a 12-inch skillet over medium-high heat. Add the proscuitto and shrimp, and cook, stirring occasionally, until golden-brown, about 3 minutes.

Add the conserva, red pepper flakes, garlic, and 1/2 cup of the pasta water and toss to combine. Add the pasta and cook, tossing, until al dente, 1 to 2 minutes. Turn the heat to medium low and add the remaining 2 Tbs. olive oil, half of the Parm, and the parsley & basil. Toss, adding more pasta water, if needed, to loosen the sauce. Season to taste with salt and serve sprinkled with the remaining Parmesan.